The right to arm bears?

This morning’s stand-out story on the Beeb:

A bold amphibious escape bid by a bear at Berlin zoo has been foiled in a dramatic shoot-out. Juan the Andean spectacled bear first paddled across a moat using a log for a raft, then scaled a wall. Finally he appeared to commandeer a bicycle, before zookeepers with brooms cornered him, and a colleague picked him off with a tranquiliser gun.

I don’t meant to be picky, but… doesn’t a “dramatic shoot-out” depend on both parties being armed? Unless they’re not telling us something, and that this bear had managed to get a gun from somewhere too – now that would be pretty fucking cool. Scary, but cool.

Southern Discomfort

Hi-tech satellite systems used to open train doors automatically have been failing, leaving people trapped on trains in the South of England. […] The satellite tracking system monitors where trains are and should open the doors automatically when they stop at a station.

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. As terreus points out, why don’t they just have a button in the drivers cab? I suppose it could be just that Southern’s parent company, Govia, has to find something to spend the whopping £670 million in subsidy that it will be receiving over the next five years, courtesy of the taxpayer.

Update: Spy Blog points out the potential dangers of such a critical component relying on GPS, and possible problems when the EU’s Galileo goes online.

Pro Bonehead

As you may or may not be aware, Sweden is not a state in the United States of America. Sweden is a country in northern Europe. Unless you figured it out by now, US law does not apply here […] It is the opinion of us and our lawyers that you are fucking morons, and that you should please go sodomize yourself with retractable batons.

Man, you’ve gotta love the Swedish, especially when they flame stupid corporate lawyers.


Having just seen that ad for Nuts, the weekly wankmag, with a woman failing to do the DIY while her boyfriend reads aforementioned magazine, I’ve come up with a much better one. While the gormless boyfriend is busy feasting his eyes on Jordan, the girlfriend is angrily trying to put the batteries in her vibrator the right way round. Then cue Johnny Vaughan – “Women! Don’t expect any help on a Thursday!”

Meddling with the medals

Ha ha! The Australian Bureau of Statistics produce a per-capita Olympic medal table (via MeFi), and they still only come second.

A series of similar tables, taking into account other factors like GDP as well is illuminating reading, India are pretty much bottom of most of them, while the Bahamas, Cuba and Estonia all do quite well, and the US is nowhere to be seen. The one factoring in team size is illuminating. The UAE got a gold medal with just four team members – how good is that?