The thing about the 4×4 and 7×7 memes is… it’s a little smug, a little showy-off, isn’t it? All the “I like this film” or “I’ve been to this place”, it looks a little like trying to affirm just how cool your tastes are and how what sophisticated habits you have
I mean, that’s not surprising (after all, blogging is fuelled by the compulsion to show off), but it doesn’t make for really interesting reading. So although I have been tagged (by Phil and Ben for 7×7, and Andrew 4×4) I’m not going to go through with the instructions, as exactly laid out. Instead, I’m going to be a little less smug and spin them to confess what I hate, what I didn’t like or didn’t get although everyone else did, my more irritating and less illustrious qualities, and what I remain ignorant of, and why many of my dreams will remain just that. After all, a common blogging trait is picking at other’s negative aspects, so perhaps a little introspection and confession is a good thing.
Of course, I could could be accused of still being smug, but in a self-deprecating way, but hey, if you look it at like that then I can’t win either way. So, without further ado, here goes…
Four jobs I once aspired to but decided not to do and am thankful
- Tube train driver – childhood obsession with trains which sadly did not last, which is probably a good thing as I hate shift work.
- Barrister – for no reason other than it sounded quite a important job. Then I found out the hours and responsiblities and decided to chicken out.
- Accountant – I think I just for the sake of living to stereotype of the Chinese kid who can do maths. Snapped out of it by the time I went to university in favour of something interesting.
- Teacher – Luckily, I realised that schoolchildren would have made mincemeat of me, or provoked me into a violent rage long before my first day was out.
Seven things that I say I’ll do before I die, but probably won’t:
- Run a marathon – lofty aim but I’m far too fucking lazy.
- Learn to fly – Another lofty aim, but I’m 24 and still haven’t learned to drive yet, let alone fly.
- Write a novel – Occasional ego-trip I take when someone complements me on my blog is imaginging life as a successful novelist but deep down I know full well it’ll be crapper than Dan Brown.
- Learn to be fluent in another language – preferably Cantonese (it being the language of half my ancestors), but I passed the option to do so as a child and I know I will never be able to find the time as an adult.
- Run a nice little gastropub somewhere in the country – I should also ask for a golden toilet and the moon on a stick while I’m at it.
- Play a musical instrument – Those who can, do. Those who can’t build an enormous record collection and pretend they can.
- The seventh thing – I actually did. But I’m not going to tell you what it was. :-)
Four movies that I can watch over and over, even though this is no testament to their quality and more to my lack of imagination or ability to turn over
- Diamonds are Forever
- You Only Live Twice
- …and any other Bond film. It’s not even like I have a low tolerance threshold – there simply isn’t a threshold, I’ll just watch any of them goggle-eyed, regardless of quality.
Seven things I can do but am neither good nor bad at, just boringly competent
- Give directions
- Assemble furniture
- Wrap presents
Four places I’ve been to, looked at and gone “Fuck me, I’m never living there”
- Most of Northern England
- Plaistow. Oh, hang on…
Seven things that attract me to… myself
- I’ve got lovely hair
- Am disturbingly slim despite unhealthy geek diet
- The sound of my own voice (not the real sound, just how it sounds in my head)
- The look of my words on paper (or webpage, for that matter)
- Quite nice hands, despite continual biting of nails
- Look better in glasses than without, and I like it that way
- When I do go outside, I don’t (normally) get sunburn, but slowly turn a nice golden colour
Four TV shows that I really fucking hate
- Absolutely Fabulous – This was never funny, you can all stop pretending now
- Later with Jools Holland – For some reason, I just don’t like man. I think it’s the mock-urgent dashing about the studio. Shame, really, as I quite like the music,
- Jam – Sorry, it was just a bit too fucked up for my liking. If it wasn’t Chris Morris no-one would have liked it.
- Little Britain – You already know what I have to say about this.
- Actually, I’ll have a fifth too – Tom will hate me for this but despite trying I have never got into The West Wing – I think it’s just general fed-upness with the monumental amount of coverage American politics gets here, and TWW doesn’t help things by tantalising us with a what-might-be.
Seven things I don’t say enough
- “I should speak a little slower, shouldn’t I?”
- “No, I’ve drunk enough tonight”
- “I don’t like to mention where I went to university”
- “Maybe you have a point”
- “Hang on, I’ll turn my phone off”
- “Arsenal deserved to lose, fair and square”
Four places I’ve been on holiday to, but don’t have any interesting stories to tell about
- Tartu, Estonia
- Paris (hated it, would rather forget)
Seven books that I thought actually weren’t much cop despite the gushing reviews they generally got
- Neuromancer (heresy, I know – sorry Sally)
- The Communist Manifesto
- Gravity’s Rainbow (although this is mainly because I couldn’t finish it)
- Vernon God Little
- Pretty much anything Shakespeare did – it’s impossible to parse in real-time
- Dirty Havana Trilogy
- 2005: Blogged (only joking!)
Four foods that I always end up cooking because of a lack of imagination
- Stir-fried chicken
- Spaghetti bolognese
- Ramen in soup
- Curried whatever’s-in-the-fridge
Seven movies I haven’t watched, but kinda pretend that I have by referencing them continually
- Star Wars (all of them)
- Citizen Kane
- It’s A Wonderful Life
- The Shawshank Redemption (actually I’ve seen the last five minutes, which was enough for me)
- The Godfather
Four sites I visit too much
- qwghlm.co.uk – Why? I already know what’s going to be on it, for God’s sake
- Wikipedia – “Turning mild Asperger’s into gold since 2001″ – I forget whose quote it was but it’s a good one. I’ve wasted too much time contributing trivia here.
- BBC News – Even though 99% the front page is no different from the last time I hit F5, I must find out the latest news so I can form a knee-jerk opinion on it, right now.
- Popbitch – Actually, I no longer visit PB. Which is just as well, as it’s been crap for ages now and I only just noticed.
Eleven people to tag with this – not that any of them will, but I would just love to find out what makes them tick
- Osama bin Laden
- The Queen
- David Cameron
- Rupert Murdoch
- José Mourinho
- Angelina Jolie
- Lawrence Lessig
- Thom Yorke
- Condoleezza Rice
- Malcolm Gladwell
- Neal Stephenson
(As a footnote that took me ages to do. So bollocks to memes – I’m not doing another for a long time, no matter how many people tag me… )