Belatedly: Clive Matthews is my posh, unhyphenated double-barrelled surname (which I occasionally used to hyphenate to try and save confusion – though it rarely works). James is my forename. I write as “J Clive Matthews” because “James Clive Matthews” is too long to fit in a column in most publications, which is a bit of a bummer for a professional writer type. (When the columns are really narrow I’ve also been known to write professionally as Beatrice Sant, fact fans…)

However, throughout my life hardly anyone’s ever really called me James, and for most of the last two decades, most people I know (including the wife) have called me Clive. Even though it’s not really my name.

Yes, it causes untold confusion. And yes, this was over long for an off-topic comment.

As such: boo to the BNP! (Obviously.)

PS I know Nosemonkey, kind of, a bit, and I’ve always called him Clive – his name seems to have morphed from J Clive-Matthews to J Clive Matthews.