Daily Mail-o-matic: Now updated

7 January 2009
ARE ASYLUM SEEKERS GIVING PROPERTY PRICES CANCER?

Back in 2003, before I even started blogging, I created the Daily Mail Headline Generator, and within a couple of weeks a friend suggested some extra things to put in it. “Good idea”, I said, “I’ll update the code when I have the time”.

I’m nothing if not prompt, so a mere six years later, I’ve finally got round to doing it. Hey, it still beats Duke Nukem Forever. The code’s updated – it’s now in JavaScript, not Flash, and GPL-licenced (source). I’ve updated the dictionary for more contemporary feel (out goes Tony Blair, in comes Russell Brand) and it can handle the past and present tenses now. Suggestions for extra things to put in are welcome (add them in the comments below).

And while I’m on the subject of the Daily Mail – and I’d normally refrain from even telling you it has a website, let alone linking to it, the hatemongering bogroll that it is, but something in the latest column by homo-obsessed walking shitbag Richard Littlejohn slipped in unnoticed by the Mail’s irony detectors, it seems:

Apparently, my column is a constant reminder of why they did the right thing in emigrating to New Zealand.


6 Responses

Just to note that the comments in the JavaScript code are brilliant.

And the first result from Mailmaker 2.0: HAVE ASYLUM SEEKERS INFECTED CLIFF RICHARD WITH AIDS?

If I was a schoolgirl I’d develop an embarrassing crush on you.

And yes, the comments are good. The code isn’t bad either.

Another fan of the comments here!

After playing with it I had some suggestions but I have found most of them in the code – they just had not cropped up for me. Could possibly add “teenage mums” or “gymslip mums”?

Also how about getting bins/rubbish collections in there somewhere? Which makes me think that “council snoopers” might be a good subject or even just “big brother”

Oh. Almost forgot. You can’t not have some variation on “MMR jabs”! The Mail is obsessed with them.

Ooh. Another one. “porn” and/or “internet porn”

Connected to that, maybe some variation of “grooming” could expand the transative phrase repertoire?

Mike M

I was watching a repeat of “Mock the Week” yesterday, an episode from September 2007 I believe, and Frankie Boyle came out with a quote that could have so easily come from this page:

“Asylum seekers invade Britain with a new form of AIDS that lowers house prices”

Made me laugh and think of your blog toys!

Becca

Yeah, council snoopers is a good one. Can we have ‘knife crime’ and ‘gangs’ in there too, and what about maybe ‘crime statistics’? Is CCTV already included in the mix?