’nuff said.

“His daddy insisted on it because Timberlands were the pride of his wardrobe. The alternative was Reebok,” said the 32-year-old nurse, who is now divorced.

Another bad day for Noam Chomsky - more and more kids these days are being called the likes of Canon or Xerox. The age of Jennifer Government may well be upon us.

Most hilariously however, the bottom of the article notes that in 2000, 24 American kids were given the forename ‘Unique’.

As a footnote, I wish I could have had at least a cool middle name - the not particularly interesting ‘Ian’ was chosen as it (apparently) sounds like my Chinese name of ‘Ngon’. I’d have much preferred to have the Chinese name. But it would have meant giving up having cool initials, I suppose…

Damian and I have been discussing corporate ‘team bonding’ activities - you know the kind - you’re locked in a room and have to make a skyscraper out of paperclips and string, or go orienteering somewhere dreadful in the Brecon Beacons and try not to die of hypothermia, stuff which wastes the time of millions of workers (as well as lining the pockets of consultants) every year. We see nothing wrong in the good old-fashioned going down the pub routine, which mercifully seems to be free of management bullshit so far, although it can only be a matter of time money-for-old-rope merchant tries and turn that into some special consultant’s service. Presumably they’ll try to package it in some wank Mission Statement - during an idle moment I came up with:

“We endeavour to foster intra-personnel connectivity through traditional native methods in off-site specialized social team-building centres; combining networked proactive communication on a real-time, face-to-face basis, with hands-on consumption of refreshing aqueous solutions, fulfilling our aim of leveraging short-term value-added empowerment.”

No doubt someone in the Brown Economy will latch onto this soon…

The Guardian reports that Hull is the crappest town in Britain, in a new book from The Idler magazine.

The book is the result of the Idler’s Crap Towns website, which features a number of vitriolic attacks on various towns and cities, and not just the ones that spring to mind, there are attacks on the likes of Islington as well.

Cambridge, alas, does not make the list though I think it should. There’s the creepy gothic architecture that permeates the city; the shitness of the local nightlife (Monday nights at Fez notwithstanding); the expensive pubs; the billions of tourists that get in the way all the fucking time; the ugly, identical-looking locals (Heavily gelled hair and Ben Sherman or Hackett for him, orange suntan and a fat arse in nasty white trousers for her) who are especially unfriendly at closing time; the middle-class sk8r punk kids in HOAX T-shirts that mill around the town centre any time of day; the reek of piss in Market Square; the fact that every other shop is a branch of Next; the hooray-Henry toff students who got in because Daddy paid £50 an hour for personal coaching and tuition; the idiot cyclists who cheerfully ignore the Highway Code, especially the subtle distinction between pavement and road…the list goes on. And don’t get me started on the Regal…

Fuck, what am I doing living here?

It could be worse, though. I could be living in Sutton :-)