I’ll get me coat
July 21st, 2004Tonight, over an excellent (and slightly boozy) dinner with friends, I mentioned the fantastic Bulwer-Lytton awards - the awards for the worst opening line to a hypothetical novel - an example of one of the 2004 contenders:
After several minutes, Detective Wilson, standing over the lifeless, tuxedo-clad corpse, the spandex tights it had been strangled with still around its neck, realized that the poor ringmaster had simply been a victim of circus dancers.
After several equally poor puns from myself, Gytha mentioned that there was a pun society from Gonville & Caius College. After several seconds’ thought, I suggested she set up her own pun society, aiming for more elaborate and flowery puns, so that (in my words): “Your puns will be florid-er than Caius’”.
I wasn’t asked to leave the table, but I should have been.
(For those not in the know, ‘Caius’ is meant to be pronounced ‘Keys’)
July 22nd, 2004 at 01:00:00
If The Pun Society hasn’t already been set up, then we’d damn well better do it soon. And I mean soon.
July 22nd, 2004 at 10:13:59
Oh my God, I’ve just re-read that pun in the cold light of day. It’s not even bad.
My apologies.
July 22nd, 2004 at 11:07:49
Crapplegeek! Shame on you…
July 22nd, 2004 at 11:55:54
We need a whole new word, something beyond “pun”. Word to be defined as “vague flailing towards some sort of linguistic juxtaposition or evocation, that completely fails to make sense, or to provoke any response other than despair, hatred or pity.”
July 22nd, 2004 at 13:06:13
Neolojism? Unwanted ejaculation of smartarse coinage that marks you out as a wanker?
July 22nd, 2004 at 13:21:08
A bit harsh!
July 22nd, 2004 at 18:39:58
Chris - I salute you.
Puns are brilliant, and that one was particularly, for want of a better word, clever.