Greetings from Scotland. Apologies for lack of any blog activity of late but what with moving house and (re)starting University I’ve been a bit, erm, busy.

The move has not entirely been a smooth transition (I won’t bore you, but suffice to say my letting agents are bunch of incompetent cowboys), and my distemper has been exacerbated by severe Internet withdrawal symptoms (This is an actual medical condition. Seriously).

So, deprived of memes (and for another few days until Mr Broadband graces my flat with his presence), I have very little to tell anyone about, although Tom’s Swiss Army Knife-themed short story is a dinky little diversion.

But only a mere diversion - according the the Daily Mail, we’re on the brink of civil war! Presumably there are thousands of toffs in chavvy T-shirts all over the land, lined up to wreak havoc and throw England into years of armed turmoil. My idea of moving to Edinburgh was obviously a prescient one.