Some words on Asian bird ‘flu:

So why are we scaring ourselves witless about this Asian fowl pest? Because it is all part of our new phobia about the Far East, and China in particular.

Words of a over-politically correct, hand-wringing, culturally-sensitive Guardianista? No, actually the above was written in the Telegraph by Boris Johnson. I’d disagree with Boris’ dismissal of the threat of the risk of a pandemic as mere scaremongering, as scientists are not worried about the current flu but any potential mutation thereof (and in any case, I’m fucking terrified of bird ‘flu but being half-Chinese, I make a curious sort of Sinophobe). Once you cut past the intro, and some of the factual errors (”The Chinese have a script so fiendishly complicated that they cannot produce a proper keyboard for it” - actually, they get along just fine) its main thesis that the Sinophobia of the West (as illustrated by the ongoing “bra wars“) is misplaced, as China is never going to dominate us militarily or culturally in the same way the United States does.

But, I feel that this is missing the point - just because China isn’t taking the American approach to global power, it doesn’t mean they’re seeking other ways. China has been buying up the US national debt, trying to get resource-rich African countries onside and most importantly of all, hoovering up as much oil as it can get its hands on. Thanks to the global economy, you don’t need bombs to bring a country to its knees any more - wheeling and dealing is more than enough to get you by, just as Number Two points out to Dr. Evil in Austin Powers - though at least Dr. Evil could excuse his ignorance, as he’d just come out of cryogenic storage, while Boris Johnson has not*. To say “the Chinese have neither the ability nor the inclination to dominate the world. They merely want to trade freely” is falling for a spectacular dummy, one that he’ll probably come to rue in the not too distant future.

* I hope.